1] The first rule of investing is not to lose money. The second rule is not to forget the fist rule!
2] The market is weird. Every time one guy sells, another one buys, and they both think they’re smart.
3] Sometimes your best investments are the ones you don’t make.
4] Profit is only made after all your positions are closed
5] Money is always there, but the pockets change.
6] Stock Split: When your ex-wife and her lawyer split all your assets equally between themselves.
7] Bull Market is a random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
8] Bear Market is a 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry and the husband gets no sex.
9] The safest way to double your money is to fold it and put it in your pocket.
10] Always play with other people’s money!
